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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28003098">the verge of a cliff</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/spearb99/pseuds/spearb99'>spearb99</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Changbin is sick, Domestic Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Gyu, Han Jisung | Han is Whipped, Lot of feelings, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, No Angst, No Smut, Seo Changbin is Bad at Feelings, Sickfic, binsung, changbin is an anxious boi but thats very subtle, han is a sweetheart, idk - Freeform, kinda vague, theres like a lot unspoken, unregulated emotions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:40:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,599</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28003098</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/spearb99/pseuds/spearb99</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>changbin is sick and jisung takes care of him. but theres much more around and jisung cant omit it any longer. changbin is glad.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Han Jisung | Han &amp; Seo Changbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the verge of a cliff</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i apologize for any mistake! </p><p>although its very brief id like to cw the mention of pills. </p><p>also it would be cool to read it listening to 坂本 ビボ の 青空 by ryuichi sakamoto. but thats up to you ~</p><p>hope u enjoy mwah</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>It is so beatiful, so exciting, this love, that I tremble on the verge of it (...) </em>
    <em> - Virginia Woolf.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>The soft and melodic sound of raindrops crashing against the window glass harmonized with the lack of the light in the dorm, thus lulling the younger one to fall asleep, slowly and serenely. His mind was already immersed into the subconscious, the reality getting distant as dreamland embraced him and then... </p><p>A gross sound drags him back to reality, just like a huge claw grabbing his ankle and pulling him up from the serenity and deepness of sleep, abruptly and awfully rapidly, his flat chest going up and down almost aggressively. </p><p>His muscles relax again when his senses remind him he’s just at his bed, no unholy creature planning to devour his soul around.       </p><p><em> "Bless you." </em> He whispers at long last, a bit breathless still. A small, funny and somehow gentle silence envelops them like a blanket before the other sneezes again, apologising seemingly shyly for scaring his roommate.</p><p>The blonde pondered and sighed lazily, the same silence wandering there again. He gets rid of his light blue sheet eventually, going down the bed carefully since the dorm was dark. </p><p>With his hands, he navigates the chaotically messy desk, searching for his phone. After tacting a couple of pens, empty water bottles, socks, earphone and god-knows-what-else, he finally finds what he wants.</p><p>Jisung yawns and stares at the numbers. The light hurting his eyes for a hot second. It was 3 o'clock. He turns the lantern on to find the light switch,  Changbin slightly flinches.  </p><p>The older's nose was cutely pinkish, and there were bags underneath his chocolate eyes, his skin was concernedly pale and his big cheeks flushed. Jisung slowly laid the back of his hand on Changbin's forehead, who kept his eyes closed, either unbothered or simply had no energy to open them. No doubts he had a fever. </p><p><em> "’M gonna make you some tea." </em> The younger stated, words slurred, voice a bit hoarse from sleeping.</p><p>He walked around the dorm’s wooden floor wearing only his <em> toy story </em>pair of socks. Changbin sneezed again. His breath was sonorous. </p><p><em> "Go back to sleep. I’m fine." </em> Seo retorted, his voice coming out nasally and weak, barely audible, contradicting his words. He was lying, his whole body ached, it felt heavy, his nose was stuffy, his throat felt like sandpaper.</p><p>Han kept filling the kettle with water, either for not hearing the older at all or simply not caring. Changbin didn’t have energy to stop him, his head was fucking throabbing, the lights making him dizzy. He presses Gyu even more against his chest, mindlessly.</p><p>Jisung feels bad for his roommate as he watches him trembling like crazy, looking smaller as ever inside his oversized hoodie, clutching to himself as a desperate, useless attempt to find warmth. It wasn’t even cold, Jisung himself was wearing nothing but an old t-shirt and a pyjama short. The older’s fever was probably way too fucking high.      </p><p>The younger carefully pats Changbin at his shoulder to make his presence noticeable and hands him a Batman mug as soon as he gets himself in a sit position, shifting awkwardly, probably for feeling his whole body aching.</p><p>Jisung never seems to know the right thing to say. Whatever that comes into his mind just sounds too stupid in his view to say out loud, and he often catches himself saying things he didn’t mean, simply because he just knew the other person would like to hear exactly that. </p><p>With Changbin, though, Jisung didn’t really feel like that, he never did. They have always had their own language. He doesn’t ask too many questions. He actually knew very little about Changbin. Didn't even know if the older had friends or family, he had never seen him talking on the phone or texting someone besides his colleagues from his job or university. Didn’t know if he had always lived there, or came from somewhere else. He knows how Seo likes his coffee though, and knows his favourite genre of movie. Jisung also knows which discography Changbin is obsessed with at the moment, and that he really likes plushies. He had no clue of Changbin’s dreams or what he thinks about when he gets his head on the pillow, or what makes him love somebody, or hate somebody. But overall, it was a blessing to share a dorm with Seo Changbin. He is not really organised, neither knows how to cook, but his company was a constancy in Jisung’s life that somehow made the younger feel safe and warm, he had someone to wait for him at the end of the day, he had someone to just be around while he did the dishes, had someone to ask how’s the weather before leaving home, had someone to watch a movie with when he was hit by insomnia, he just knew he <em> had </em>Changbin.  </p><p>Either to help him with the studies, to recommend him songs or books, or to make stupid jokes just to cheer him up when everything sucked really bad. He has Changbin. </p><p><em> “You suck at taking care of yourself.” </em>He ended up stating, the sleepiness making him say things without thinking before.</p><p>Changbin didn’t respond. <em> “Will you just overwork yourself to death, you silly boy?” </em> Han had absolutely no bite on his words, but they were still heavy. It wasn’t fair, was it?   </p><p>Jisung opens his mouth, sticking his tongue out, waiting for the other to do the same. Changbin takes too long to process, taking a lighthearted giggle from Jisung, who messes with the older’s already messy hair after he gulps down the pill, praising him for taking his medicine like the good boy he is. </p><p><em> "Uh… Why are you acting like that?" </em> Jisung could clearly see Changbin’s puzzleness, though he didn’t know its cause. Should he pretend he wasn’t worried? Maybe he really didn’t have a reason to be, but does that change anything?  </p><p><em> "You always take good care of me, don't you?! It's my turn to do that for you." </em> He chooses to answer, although it’s not that. Not <em> exactly </em>that. Han is not repaying him or anything in the sort. He can’t say that out loud though, and contents himself with the shy and microscopic “thank you” that comes from his roommate.  </p><p>Jisung can’t really take his eyes from him. From the red on his honey-like skin provided from the fever, from his droopy, exhausted eyes, from his shivers, his slow blinks, slow sips, slow breath. </p><p>Their gazes get lost in each other for a while, something in between a few minutes and a few lifetimes, Jisung’s eyes shining brighter than the moon silently watching them through the window. Changbin smiles spontaneously and innocently, it was honest, but Han could tell he was hiding <em> stuff </em> . The younger can't help but do the same. Both smile and hide <em> stuff </em>. </p><p>It was pretty the way the raindrops were drawing random lines at the glass, pretty how it was sparkling. It was also pretty how Changbin was looking at him, so selfless, candid, soft eyes that hide unimaginable things.  </p><p><em> "Hyung… Can I ask you something?" </em> He said, after long minutes of silence, the chamomile still travelling his taste buds. Changbin replied with a nod.</p><p><em> "Don't you feel lonely?" </em> He whispered, the eye contact still firmly intact.  </p><p> <em> "Lonely…?" </em> The older tilts his head, eyebrows frowing. His palms are hot against the ceramic of the mug. Things a bit fuzzy for him.  </p><p> <em> "Yeah, you just leave the apartment to go study at the library, to go to class and to go to your job. You never call anyone too."  </em></p><p><em> "Not at all. I have you, don't I?" </em> Jisung got so surprised with the reply that the words got stuck on his throat. He wasn’t expecting <em> anything </em>to be fair, because he had no clue of what to expect from him, he never did. But that certainly was the last thing he would ever consider hearing from Changbin. He knows he has Changbin, but didn’t think the other feel just the same as him. For some reason, he felt a heat crawling up his skin.</p><p>
  <em> “But what about the days I am not around? When I sleep at my friend’s or go visit my family. Sometimes it lasts weeks.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I just wait for you to come back.”  </em>
</p><p><em> “How do you know I will come back?” </em>Changbin shrugged at that, taking a sip of his tea, Jisung long time finished. Their voices were like a thin string of a violin in the air at this point. Going thinner, quieter... </p><p>...Until it turned into a whisper. So quiet that only their proximity could make it possible for Jisung to hear. So quiet that anything could easily <em> break </em> it.</p><p><em> “I just hope you will.” </em> </p><p>Deadpanned, Jisung watches the older gently take his empty mug from his hands and put both of them over the desk. They stare at each other, Seo’s expression completely unreadable for the younger. </p><p><em> “Do you mind turning the lights off? I feel like they are making holes in my brain and I would turn them off myself but I kinda feel like I will pass the shit out if I step out of bed.” </em>That was the longest sentence Jisung has heard his roommate say at once. </p><p>Once the lights were off, the moonlight was the only thing litting the room. It was hard to make his way back, but he managed to do so without bringing the apartment down. Only a few objects that Han optioned to not even think too much about.  </p><p>He feels his sheets a bit cold when he lays down. The raw silence piercing his mind. He rolled to his sides, eyes still wide open. His head was flooded with everything and nothing at the same time. That wasn’t right. It hasn’t been right for so long. Han bites his lower lip and gets up, annoyed with his own restlessness.  </p><p><em> "W-what are you doing?" </em>Changbin trips over his tongue, nervous with the sudden rupture of the distance between their bodies as Jisung pushes his chest gently and climbs into his bed.</p><p>To say the older was confused was an understatement, his face burning of shyness - or something else -  as Han clutches him tightly and guides him to lay down his head on his chest, not minding Changbin’s sweat from the sickness. The younger’s fingers make their way to Changbin’s scalp, gently dancing his fingertips through the older’s hair strings. With the other hand, Jisung takes Changbin's leg and rests it over his own, to save space. The bed was way too small for two guys, so they were really close, impossible to get closer. </p><p><em> "You smell like baby…" </em> Han mumbled and giggled, drunk by sleepiness. His own skin starting to sweat as the temperature of the other was really fucking hot still. <em> “Don’t you think it’s better to get this hoodie off? I’m afraid you are going to convulse during my sleep.” </em> His eyes were shut, but he felt Seo’s anxiety starting to bubble between them, if <em> between </em>even existed, considering how close they were. </p><p><em> “Too close-” </em> Changbin was struggling to make himself sound enoughly <em> fine </em> , Jisung could notice that easily, but decided to pretend he didn’t. </p><p>
  <em> “You don’t like it?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I-I do but I’m sick, Jisung” </em>
</p><p><em> “Yeah because you are working too much and resting too little, I don’t think this is contagious.” </em>He wasn’t mad, but that’s how he sounded. </p><p>Han is near to fall wholefully into dreamland if not…</p><p>
  <em> “Ji-Jisung…” </em>
</p><p><em> “Listen, can we stop being so omitte at least once?!” </em> He abruptly opened his eyes as irritation started to dissipate through his veins, fast and burning,  only then noticing how the other was grabbing the excess fabric of his shirt as if his life depended on it. <em> “You want me close. I want you close too.” </em>He craned his neck to let a long kiss on the top of the leonin's head. Painful, meaningful. Tons of words unspoken. </p><p>Changbin gasps, his heartbeat almost inhumanly, breath stuck inside his throat. Jisung’s breath smelling like chamomile getting mixed with his fruish perfume, Changbin allowed himself to drown in just a little bit… A little bit.</p><p>He <em> allows </em>himself, just a little bit.</p><p><em> “I don’t think I can.” </em>Changbin gulps down dryly by knowing how pathetic he sounds like right now, quite feeling like disappearing in between the quantic matter in the air. Instead, he hides his face on the curve of Jisung’s neck, he didn’t know if the weakness and overheat was sickness anymore. </p><p>Han’s sleepy and slurred voice hits his ears like a cold, fresh wave as he shushes the older, somehow managing to make the cafuné more tender, the touch gentler.   </p><p><em> “You don’t have to.” </em>Han’s words slipped away from his lips slowly. It all felt like the verge of a cliff. Their bodies trying to find ways to fit in each other. The curves of their silhouettes brushing, the lines of their beings crossing one another. </p><p>It felt like the verge of a cliff to Changbin. He could feel the firm surface of the ground below his feet. Hard and dry. But he also could feel the fall. Feel the freedom. The wind violently playing with his hair, giving him chills. He could feel the coldness of the water. The waves. The depth.     </p><p>The silence remained again, the only sound being heard was the pouring rain outside.   </p><p> <em> "Kiss me, please."  </em></p><p><em> "Hm?" </em>Han was already half asleep, he couldn't tell if he was dreaming or Changbin was really talking with him.</p><p><em> "Please kiss me right now" </em>   The blonde stopped breathing, eyes wide open once again. He didn’t know what astonished him more, what was asked or the <em> urgency </em>of the ask. </p><p>The younger holds the tip of Changbin's chin, obligating him to meet eyes with him. He meets the older’s cheeks coloured in a deep red, pairing with glossy, dark eyes. </p><p>He sits awkwardly - due to the lack of space - and puts the other on his lap,  his hand holding tightly to the shorter’s waist, nails craving his meat under the hoodie. He’s thirsty for Changbin’s skin, Changbin’s touch, Changbin’s <em> lips </em> . Simply thirsty for <em> Changbin </em>.</p><p>The dark haired seems scared, statically waiting for the first act, statically waiting for the ocean to pull him inside. The other moves his bangs away from his eyes, lightly like he was afraid of breaking the delicacy of the older. </p><p>And Jisung does, he pulls him inside, he destroys the minimum distance between them, staring at Changbin’s tiny, heart shaped lips all the way up, licking his own before pressing them together, firmly.</p><p>There’s fear and strong desire. Their tongues dance, entangle themselves, drowning in that deep sea of the unknown, the unsaid.  </p><p>Jisung is aggressive, afraid of never getting to touch the other again, to feel him again. Changbin moves in a painful, passionate compass, as if nothing would come after, as if that was the only and last move. But mostly, both of them chased everything they missed until now, unraveling each other with their hands, their saliva, their sweat. </p><p>They only pulled apart when the pair got breathless, chests coming up and down in an agitated rhythm. Jisung couldn’t avoid staring at the man right in front of him, at his swollen lips, now showing a small cut caused by one bite or another, at his marked neck, his dimp hair glued to his forehead.</p><p>Immersed. Changbin was wholefully immersed into the ocean, his mouth, his throat, his <em> lungs </em>consumed by the water.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you very much for reading. hope u enjoyed &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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